Missed are the days we used to have. Missed are the days we used to live life to the fullest. We used to be one but no longer. Now it is You and I.
It started when I walked down brightly light corridors and peeked through glass doors into the rooms beyond. Dreams and aspirations unfolded before my eyes. I was entranced by the possibilities behind the thin transparent barriers. They felt soo close, as if I could reach through and grasp them.
Then You called after me, requesting I bring one back for us to enjoy. I tried to search for keys to open the doors but I found none. I tried to break the glass but even my strongest blow was futile.After some time, You called after me again. Except this time, I could feel anger and frustration in Your voice like barbed wire across my skin. I continued in my attempts to open the doors but was greeted with failure at every turn. Soon the brightness of the doors forced my gaze to the floor. I tried to look up. I tried to believe I held the key to any of these doors but I didn’t. All I could do was stare at the fruit of my failures made tangible in the form of crimson blood splattered on the ground.
The contrast was too much for my eyes and heart to bare. Besides You were better off without me.I shuffled my feet further down the corridor where the walls were darker and the blood from my battered hands less visible. Gradually the hallway dimmed like the sky when the sun fades beyond the horizon. Soon I found myself in darkness. The tips of my broken outstretched hands leading the way. My shuffling feet slowed their steps and I dared a look over my shoulder. A pinprick of light shone like a single star in the vast emptiness of black space. My mind recalled the images behind the glass doors and my shoulders began to twist to face the light. The corridor abruptly halted. There, at the end, was a single door indistinguishable from the blackness around me.
A pinprick of light shone like a single star in the vast emptiness of black space. My mind recalled the images behind the glass doors and my shoulders began to twist to face the single point of light. As I began to turn, pain shot through my arms and the weight of failure settled firmly on my shoulders. I began to shuffle along once more, the tiny spark of light set behind me.
After some time, my hands jammed against something abruptly. I felt around timidly. There, at the end, were three walls indistinguishable from the blackness around me with a single door at the end of an endless corridor. I dropped my head as defeat greeted me once more. My chin came to rest on something cold and hard. Instinctively my hand reached up. A key hung around my neck on a piece of rope which felt less like a necklace and more like a noose.
My fingers explored the surface of the key, feeling its sharp edges and smooth hilt. With dread, I pulled the key from around my neck. I knew in that moment, I had found the one door I could open. Where I thought I deserved to be. The tumblers of the lock echoed in the silence. Secretly I wished the key wouldn’t work. I longed for the brightly lit corridors and glass doors and wished I would have turned back the noose was yet around my throat. The bolt retracted with a metallic click and the last sliver of hope vanished. I opened the door and walked in.
My world became bright again and there, standing before me was You. Oh, how I had missed You. I reached out but my arms were cemented by my side. I tried to speak, but my lips never parted. All I could do was follow You with my gaze as You closed the distance between us.
“What a fool.” You said. Your anger echoing in my mind like razorblades. “What a naive child who knows nothing about reality. Hands and head always filled with silly dreams of success. See where it has led? See the lives destroyed? How blindly following a naive child toward aspirations set too high is dangerous? Of course not. Too busy trying to capture the clouds. Eyes which never shift gaze from the stars above can’t see the effects on those behind. Well, see this Dreamer of Clouds. The lives of those we loved were better off before weak hands ushered them along the cliffs edge. Blindly did they walk, following the footsteps of their leader. Right off the cliff they went with false idea’s of success, and happiness.”
The floor turned a milky white followed by the walls and roof. Suddenly I was falling. There was no ground below, just endless sky and clouds. As I fell, You just stood there, a disappointed look spreading across Your face as you spoke.
“Enjoying it now? Share in their fate. Let the wind silence naive words and let dream inspired actions never be followed again. Embrace this illusion while more capable hands remove the debris from our damaged life.” With those final words, You were gone and I was alone once more.
My muscles vibrated with fear as tears froze on my cheeks. All I wanted was to make a difference in people’s lives. To help open people’s eyes to the possibilities of change. I didn’t want to hurt them. I didn’t want to hurt You.
Time passed. Fear subsided. Clouds drifted.
Tears shattered. Hands healed. Heart hardened.
I became comfortable with the silence and absence of action. Then I was no longer falling and You were back. To be more exact I was back and no longer trapped in my illusion. I was sitting on a bench in an unfamiliar city and You were next to me. I stared unbelieving at You. It had been a long time but I could tell instantly there was something different about You. Your eyes did not shine with determination like they used to nor was Your pressence as strong as it had been. Most notably, Your hands and body were scarred almost beyond recognition. I could have cried for You if I still knew how.
“You and I are together again. It has been a long time since we have talked. Missed are the days we used to have. Missed are the days we used to live life to the fullest.” I say under the noise and clamor of the world.
” We used to be apart but no longer. It is us against the world and this time we won’t fail.”