The nights are torture. My dreams tear at me and when I wake, you are gone. You haven’t been there for some time but the pain and the hurt are fresh. It feels as if you abandoned me, even though I know that is far from the truth of things. Yet when I wake the first thing which greets me are tears and an overwhelming sadness which makes me bitter.
The sunrise isn’t pretty or refreshing, it is a reminder that I will have to live another day without you. Maybe even worse, with you. With seeing you happy and giving hugs to everyone but me. Seeing you laugh and smile with everyone but me. It kills me to see you wipe away our time together like it meant nothing.
I am sorry, but it’s not enough.
It never will be. And nor will I.
Mile 29 