Fractured Mind

Each passing day plunges you further into the heartbreaking depths of my fractured mind. I am not speaking about the depths which touch my heart. The depths which make me feel every ounce of hurt and pain, causing me to curl into a ball at night with tears staining my cheeks. I am referring to the other kind. The kind of darkness which doesn’t distinguish between good and bad memories, but blots everything out as if you never existed.

I can no longer remember how the honey chap-stick tasted upon my lips after we kissed. Your face is a blur, and your eyes are gray colorless orbs which no longer have any power over me. I no longer feel the their sharp and piercing gaze or their loving warmth. You have become a stranger not only in my eyes, but in my mind as well.

The days are no longer good to me but are stripping away everything I hold dear. They have dug in their claws made of darkness and are ripping me apart from the inside. I try to fight, to hold onto this reality set before my eyes but I am afraid I can not hold on much longer.

Today I was walking around my home, the same home I have lived in since I was eighteen, when I saw the ghost of an old man. I stared at him from down the hall. His hair was silver from root to tip and was tossed about his head without a care. His clothes hung on more bones then muscles and the look in his eyes was that of death. He starred at me with cold eyes from beyond the grave and I felt my heart and soul shiver with fear. Scared and alone in the house I began yelling and screaming at the ghost. I pushed forward waving my arms and yet he drew closer, arms outstretched as if he was death himself taking me away.

I stopped inches away from him. My heart beating out of my chest in fear and fright as sweat gathered in drops along my forehead. I went to scream one last time. His mouth opened at the same time. I raised my hand to wipe the perspiration from my forehead. So did he. I was the ghost.

Today I was walking around my home, the same home I have lived in since I was eighteen, when I saw myself in the mirror and didn’t recognize the face staring back at me. The darkness almost almost taken everything from me. So I urge you, create as many memories as you can. That way, in the end, it will take longer for the darkness to consume you.